I still love giving talks. I am restricted to five minute talks and I am always careful to only say what i am comfortable with. The preparation needs to be meticulous. It is possible to plant doubts in peoples' minds and to leave the audience in a quandry without saying anything explicitly apostate.
I have been frequently congratulated on this refreshing approach by people who don't realise how subversive it really is. I answer in the same way. One day someone is going to pick up on what is going on.
My wife knows how I feel and think and is constantly on the edge of her seat in case I cross the line. I know that my position is hypocritical but I have never felt happier walking the line between subversive and out on his ear. I stick with it for family reasons. They all know how I feel. I am as open as is possible without leaving them all behind. But that is the nature of this two faced, ostrich minded sorry assed bunch I had the bad luck to be born into.